Commentary without pity

I was recently given a mild reproof for the supposed meanness of the comments I make. Not on this blog but at other times, once most notably while watching a Rob Schneider movie which was playing during a house party.

During the movie's one and only love scene, Schneider attempted to win his lady love over by saying " I know I'm not the most perfect guy in the world..." , the movie's stupidity finally got to me and I blurted out " No kidding man, you're a gigolo for God's sake".

The entire roomful of guys turned on me with horrified expressions on their faces. I was soundly reproved for the cynicism and meanness of my comment. I was also told( amazingly), that it just shows that girls these days were hardhearted and un feminine.

I didn't know which was worse, that a roomful of people actually wanted to watch a movie that coined words like "he-whore" or that they took offence at my making some acerbic comments about it. Come on, it was a Rob Schneider movie; it had giant women, made politically incorrect fun of Tourette's Syndrome and featured various other inane gags. It is not to be taken seriously, not even the love scene. It is there for you to make fun of and laugh at, not with.

Plus this is coming from the girl who cried watching Braveheart 5 times and cried all through several Chiong Yao( Taiwanese author who write sappy love stories) serials when she was in her teens.

I am not mean, I just think Rob Schenider makes movies so bad that they deserve a free for all when it comes to cynical and bitchy comments.

And if they think that my comments were mean, they need to read this site.

Spring

This was taken at a lavendar farm I visited recently. Sometimes, the nice thing about living here, is that less than an hours drive away, you get rolling green fields and the fresh country air.
It reminded me of the various anime series that involved a central female character standing sadly while a confetti of cherry blossom petals blew across the screen.

I think I have been watching too much tv....

Seven Things: Another Meme

This meme came via LimeGreenSpyda.

Seven Things You Plan to do before you die:
1) Learn another language
2) Own my own home/property
3) travel around the world
4)Get a Masters in Eng. Lit
5)learn to make truly excellent kueh lapis
6)understand James Joyce
7)Pray more

Seven Things I can do:
1) cook a reasonably decent basic chinese meal(rice, veg, soup etc)
2)play mahjong
3)read and appreciate most Shakespearean plays
4)sleep for 10 hours straight at night and still take an afternoon nap
5)Read legal cases 5 times and still not figure out who's suing who(which is very bad)
6)daydream
7)make a budget and stick to it

Seven Things I say the Most:
1) What the Hell!!!!?????
2) Huh?
3) Life's like that
4)I'm so tired
5) I want to sleep now
6) Do we have to do this now????
7) Just five more minutes ok?

Seven things I can't do:
1) drive
2) bake a cake from scratch
3) watch a war movie without crying
4) stay away from bookstores
5)look down from a great height without feeling dizzy and terrified
6) watch a horror movie
7) understand math

Seven Things that attract you to the opposite sex:
1) kindness
2) a sense of humour, especially an irreverent sense of humour
3) straight teeth
4) a deep and mellow voice
5)intelligence
6) common interests
7) a firm handshake

Seven Celebrity Crushes:
1) Edison Chen
2)Neil Gaiman
3) Guy Pearce
4) Kakashi( Well, he IS kind of a celebrity)
5) Richard Gere
6)Sean Connery ( I like old guys, so sue me...)
7) Michael Buble ( Yes the voice works)

Seven People I want to tag:
1) Koala
2) Enuwy
3) my boyfriend
4) Shianux
5) Jeff Yen

... I ran out of people and I got bored, so there!

I'm that Girl

I'm the girl who doesn't believe on fairy tales anymore and who feels empty all the time. I'm the girl who fell in silently love with you even though I knew you were happily attached. I'm the girl who has never known herself, who is often surprised by the unpredictability of her own emotions.

I'm the girl who misses her boyfriend but screams at him on the phone all the time. I'm the girl who can be kind on the outside but makes cruel and bitchy remarks to herself in her head.

I'm the girl who bought extra food for you because you were writing your thesis and I thought you might need supper during the late nights. I'm the girl who likes talking to people on the phone because in person feels too invasive.

I'm the girl who's afraid of heights and the boogey-man and yet went on a mountaineering camp and nearly got stuck on a mountain ridge and who will never never ever do that again.

I'm the girl who can't watch horror movies because of terrifying nightmares and who lies awake at night frozen in fear, believing that any minute, long spindly fingers of zombies will reach out to grab her .

I'm the girl who couldn't stay awake in class because the nightmares kept her awake at night and who couldn't explain it to the teachers why she was so tired.

I'm a girl who dreams of writing but never gets round to it. I'm also the girl who goes into bookstores and eyes books the way some girls eye shoes.

I'm the girl who thinks of suicide everyday and would like a chance to live her life over again. I'm the girl who flunked chinese all through school and would now like a second chance to learn the language again.

I'm the girl who once dreamt of marrying Neil Gaiman and now thinks she'll never get married at all.

I'm the girl who loved you and stayed with you when most other people would have left.

I'm the girl who keeps your home stocked with food because I love you even though I know you'll never really appreciate it or me.

I'm the girl who doesn't like people to get too close but gets lonely when people stay away.

I'm the girl who would go for liposuction and rhinoplasty if only I had the money even though I know its shallow and will hurt alot.

I'm the girl who thinks that she'll never be forgiven for some of the things she's done.

I'm that girl. Who are you?

A Question of Language

I have been a secret reader of Rockson's blog for some time now. Of course now that I've blogged it, its no longer a secret. I have so much fun reading that blog; he says all the politically incorrect things I secretly think and he says in the most politically incorrect way possible. You won't believe how thrilled and amused I was by the NKF post.Given that I'm probably the most un-streetwise person most of my friends will ever encounter, the blog was a real eye opener, language wise anyway.

I still recall the look on my boyfriend's face when I first asked him what "knnccb" stood for. Poor boy, he laughed until he literally had a tummyache while trying to explain it. But having now heard the full expression and also many many more from Rockson's terribly educational blog( all of which I had to ask my friends the meaning of), I now think that Hokkien is the best language ever for swearing. Its phraseology and enunciation carry the greatest impact and communicates the maximum amount of malevolence. There is this visceral strength to its vowels and it somehow even manages to be alliterative as well.The Cantonese "tiu lei *****" doesn't quite cut it, in fact, beside the vituperative might of hokkien insults, the cantonese ones sound almost genteel.

Which is why I was mildly perturbed by Ephraim Loy's letter complaining about the blog and the way it was featured in Lime magazine. With all due respect, if one is old enough to read Lime, one probably already knows how to say "sh*t' and 'F***' so adding a few hokkien words to the stable probably won't make a whole lot of difference. Besides, I happen to like the thoroughly Singlish way in which Rockson writes and the vulgarities give it a flavour it wouldn't otherwise have.

Rockson writes exactly like the way alot of people on the street speak and while its not pretty, it is significantly more interesting than the blandness of politically correct and pure english/ chinese. A couple of decades ago, the government made a move toward 'encouraging' Singaporeans to speak more Mandarin and less dialect and until the recent SARS problem, I'd literally never heard dialect spoken on national television.Same goes for the move to eradicate Singlish from television and radio as speaking 'good english' is supposed to be encouraged.

Thing is that languages tend to evolve and develop. There aren't many places in the world where supposedly pure English is spoken; everyone who adopts the English language adds their own stuff to it. An easy example is the Aussie word for a quilt which is a 'doona' and their word for some kind of outdoor toilet is a 'dunny'. That's how a language like Creole evolved into being, a mix of French, English and African. The mixture is what makes the language so interesting and varied.

But I do know that my saying all this makes no difference. Rockson is likely to go on being lambasted in certain quarters as being low brow, ah beng and vulgar anyway. But in case Rockson ever has to justify himself and his language before our loving men in white, I've come up with a brilliant idea for him.

You see, I've noticed recently that certain Hokkien swear words are actually perfectly innocent in Japanese. "kani nabe" is suddenly shorn of its vulgarity when one realized that it actually means crab hotpot in Jap!CRAB HOTPOT! So go ahead, scream it from the rooftops if you like, just tell people that you're ordering crab hotpot extra large and loud. There is also the additional dish called "Nabeyaki Udon" if you're interested; the name sounds bad, but the dish itself is pretty yummy and you get the added pleasure of ordering it and saying 'nabeh' legitimately.

Oh, and there is an actual Japanese subway station named "Shite". Really, I'm not kidding! You can go look it up! I was so impressed by the significance of the station. I realised that Japanese is a language just filled with possibilities. Why, every other swear word could have its lovely innocent Japanese counterpart! Its the perfect reason to go learn the language!

So excuse me while I go and watch more Naruto. (Watching anime is sure to help me learn more words and besides even the Jap word for idiot sounds cute) After all the shite I had to go through in school today, I really need some R & R.

Oops, did I just say shite?Must be lapsing into Jap already!

My goodness, those Japanese lessons are definitely coming along. I just knew watching Naruto was a surefire way of picking it up!

Home

Mostly the hardest thing about living overseas is missing all my friends and family at home.

Another friend got married and I didn't get to go. One has to be honest and admit that it wasn't a terribly close friend but I still feel the ache of missing out on it anyway. Two good friends were the bridesmaids and a whole gang of friends from the past were there too.

I guess in the end it all comes down to community. I might not see my friends all the time in Singapore, but I'd definitely see them at gatherings like this and I hate not being there. A couple of weeks ago, a friend played me this song by Michael Buble called 'Home' and I just started crying while I listened.

I'll be away for the next 3 years at least because I want to try working here and in that time, all these people I knew will get engaged, attached, married, have kids, move and do all kinds of life changing things and I won't be there. If I ever go back to Singapore, circumstances would have changed us so much that I don't know if some kind of reconnection is possible.

Trouble is that when I do go home for the holidays, I've found that my family and boyfriend demand the greater part of my time.

I guess the answer to all this is: I need to learn time management.

In the meantime, for all the friends I didn't get to see this holidays, here's a song for you. And I promise to try and see all of you guys next July.

Home by Michael Buble

Another summer day
Is come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm

Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know

And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home

Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
But this was not your dream
But you always believe in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
And even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel alone
Oh, let go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home

The new man in my life: I Heart Kakashi

I have a major Con and Admin assignment due tomorrow but I can't stop thinking about Naruto.

What is to become of me??