I'm that Girl

I'm the girl who doesn't believe on fairy tales anymore and who feels empty all the time. I'm the girl who fell in silently love with you even though I knew you were happily attached. I'm the girl who has never known herself, who is often surprised by the unpredictability of her own emotions.

I'm the girl who misses her boyfriend but screams at him on the phone all the time. I'm the girl who can be kind on the outside but makes cruel and bitchy remarks to herself in her head.

I'm the girl who bought extra food for you because you were writing your thesis and I thought you might need supper during the late nights. I'm the girl who likes talking to people on the phone because in person feels too invasive.

I'm the girl who's afraid of heights and the boogey-man and yet went on a mountaineering camp and nearly got stuck on a mountain ridge and who will never never ever do that again.

I'm the girl who can't watch horror movies because of terrifying nightmares and who lies awake at night frozen in fear, believing that any minute, long spindly fingers of zombies will reach out to grab her .

I'm the girl who couldn't stay awake in class because the nightmares kept her awake at night and who couldn't explain it to the teachers why she was so tired.

I'm a girl who dreams of writing but never gets round to it. I'm also the girl who goes into bookstores and eyes books the way some girls eye shoes.

I'm the girl who thinks of suicide everyday and would like a chance to live her life over again. I'm the girl who flunked chinese all through school and would now like a second chance to learn the language again.

I'm the girl who once dreamt of marrying Neil Gaiman and now thinks she'll never get married at all.

I'm the girl who loved you and stayed with you when most other people would have left.

I'm the girl who keeps your home stocked with food because I love you even though I know you'll never really appreciate it or me.

I'm the girl who doesn't like people to get too close but gets lonely when people stay away.

I'm the girl who would go for liposuction and rhinoplasty if only I had the money even though I know its shallow and will hurt alot.

I'm the girl who thinks that she'll never be forgiven for some of the things she's done.

I'm that girl. Who are you?