Tristefemme

I was watching the events unfold with some sadness. But towards the end, I mainly grew annoyed. For all those who haven't been following the saga, go read this blog and then the subsequent reactions and replies at this one.

Both parties involved seemed to be determined to behave as badly as possible. At first I felt immensely sorry for the girl; it is after all a terrible situation to be in, pregnant and alone. But there have been many others in her shoes who have handled themselves with a great deal more dignity and courage. I refer particularly to Loveris in particular who was still in her teens when she had her daughter. Some of my own friends have been through similiar situations and I respect them a great deal for their strength and courage in facing up to the truth and having to inform all the relevant people involved.

I am old fashioned. And in some situations I believe in the maxim of not washing one's dirty laundry in public. Informing the whole world of the predicament, to the point of describing individual encounters and providing personal details of both parties was absolutely disgraceful. The argument that the blog was only for the consumption of her and her close friends( 15 of them!) just does not wash. If she absolutely needs to keep her friends up to scratch about what is happening she could get a blog that is password protected or with privacy settings. In any case, one fails to understand why she needed to let that many of her friends know the intimate details of the situation.

The same goes for her rash and thoughtless actions in emailing everyone on her erstwhile boyfriend's social network. Why let the whole world know about the awful fix you have gotten yourself into? This can only reflect badly on you, especially in the eyes of the father of your child and eat away even more at your own self respect. I don't blame the editors of Tomorrow.sg for posting her blog up; if she doesn't try to protect her own privacy, why should they protect it for her?

The final straw must have been her action in emailing the guy's superiors and Minister in a fit of anger. It was probably the most stupid and self destructive thing she could have done. A vindictive act such as that closes off the possibility of a reasonably amicable resolution to the whole matter. Even if the guy could not be persuaded to come to terms with the pregnancy, he would at the very least have less cause to resent her and her child. In time, after the birth of the child, he might even come to accept it; babies are cute for a reason after all. This last action can only serve to alienate the guy and his family irrevocably.

Let me put it this way. From now on, she will be known in his family as the One who Destroyed his Career and Shamed him. Since he comes from a pretty traditional family, I'd say that she's just shut out any possibility of their help and support. Which, given her circumstances and their resources, she's probably going to need some way down the line. Pissing them off will just about make her life even harder and I really don't know why she doesn't see that.

Frankly, I neither of them are ready for a child. Both lack the maturity and TF in particular, lacks the self control.The sad thing is that the kid is practically a miracle baby given her fertility problem and the fact that she was on the Pill.

To the both of them: Grow up. You have a kid now and it needs you to be calm, semi-sensible and rational. This is not the time to freak out or hide behind your mother's skirts. And for God's sake, stop with the posting retorts online for the whole bloody world to see.